After more than 14 months of pumping for Emma, I pumped for the last time this morning.
I'm done.
It's the right time to stop.
Still, I'm a bit sad.
At first, when Emma was so sick and small and fragile and we couldn't even hold her, supplying the breastmilk that she was given a cc at a time seemed the least, the
only thing, I could do for her. So I pumped.
Eventually, as Emma slowly got bigger, she was able to breastfeed a bit, but it was hard work for her and she tired quickly and, as typical for micropreemies, she needed to be bottlefed, at least part of the time. So I pumped more.
Later, we discovered that Emma was aspirating, so we had to start thickening her milk which made breastfeeding impossible. So I pumped even more.
Pumping became part of our family routine. Big Sister still asks if I have to pump before we go anywhere :) I pumped while camping. I pumped on vacation. I pumped while we were driving down the Transcanada Highway [sorry, fellow travellers, you might have got more than an eyeful on your summer holiday on the east coast :)] Thank goodness for the
Medela Pump In Style electric pump. For a long time, I was attached to that thing 6 to 8 times a day. And the freezer was full of bottles and bags of expressed milk.
Once we got the O.K. from her pediatrician, we started Emma on cow's milk (she's currently drinking 1/2 cow's milk mixed with 1/2 breast milk) and I cut back on my pumping schedule. Since then my supply has been steadily decreasing. Emma is also eating more and more solid food and she's just not as interested in bottlefeeding anymore. And, I'm meeting up with some of my favourite Mommy Friends in a few days for a Mom's Only Weekend in Toronto and I'd really like to go without my pump.
So tomorrow, for the first time in 430-some days, I won't be pumping.
Pumping is hard work.
But look at this face:

It was so worth it.